Big Brother...

I grew up with one maternal brother, his name is Darl. Darl and I share the same mother, but biologically, a different dad. When my mom was a young woman, she had some difficulties at home and ran away to St. Louis. She dated a local guy there, and became pregnant with my brother. She wound up moving back to San Diego, where she met my dad. Dad accepted Darl as his own and raised him as his own. The fact is, Darl and I didn't know we weren't full brothers until I stumbled across his adoption papers as a 13 year old. That was a bomb that went off in our home! I think my dad may still be mad at me for that. He never wanted Darl to know. I guess I can understand that. Darl and I grew up pretty close, although we fought like cats and dogs off and on as kids...but there was that bond between us that only brothers can share. We often had the same friends, hung out in the same pool halls and did a lot of the same things. As we got older, Darl joined the National Guard, and then went full time Army. He had been dating a local girl and was ready to get out of the house and get on his own. Him and my dad had been in conflict quite a bit throughout his teenaged years. The conflicts between them seemed to be getting worse and worse. It wasn't an easy time in our home life, and all the drinking that went on didn't help. Mom and dad had been looking at some property on Caddo Lake in East Texas...Uncertain Texas to be exact. Darl soon left and was posted to Germany. I was still a kid and made the move with mom and dad out to Uncertain. I went from a school of several thousand, to one of about 200. In some classes, like trig, I was the only student! It was a big shift, but I really did enjoy being in the country. I got to hunt and fish more, and I got a lot of alone time. I really missed my brother though...and Darl was facing hardships of his own in Germany. He had married the girl he had been dating, and she was pregnant. They were having problems over there, and they were isolated, and that never helps. I had issues of my own back home. Mom and dad were having fish fries and parties at our place 4 nights a week! They were still driving back and forth to Shreveport to work every day too, I just didn't see how they could keep that up, God knows I couldn't have, and couldn't now! I'd often be in bed asleep, and some drunk person I didn't know would stumble into my bedroom looking for a place to relieve themselves....most of the time, they made it to the bathroom. I was not a happy camper; it was like my house was no a honky tonk, and I had nowhere to flee from it. What's funny is, that back then I thought this was pretty normal! But, that was mom and dad's lifestyle back then...they have mellowed considerably since then. It seemed like Darl and I were replaying scenes from my dad's life.... except our parents weren't too strict, they were just too liberal I guess. I really can't criticize them too much; they were just being themselves I guess. Mom and dad always had a pretty tumultuous relationship...there was always a lot of drama to be had. I always swore that someday I would have peace in my home, and I finally do. Most of all during this time...I missed my brother. He had always been there when I was little to protect me, and now he was gone.Time would roll on and Darl and I would both be in uniform and we would circle the globe opposite each other. Our lives would circle too; we would go through a couple of bad marriages at about the same time...it's funny how that happened! Just goes to show, you can separate brothers, but they still will stay in some kind of contact, even if it's not physical. These days my brother has been living with me as we both are going to Radiology school at night. It's kind of strange going to school with each other again after all this time, but it really is nice.Last night I had the most terrible dream. I dreamt that I was with Darl near a pool or a lake...somewhere near water, and somebody had shot or stabbed Darl in the chest. I rushed to his side and kept checking his pulse at the carotid artery, and could barely feel anything. I remember looking at his wounds and panicking, because I could not stop the massive blood loss, and knowing that his blood pressure was critically low. I had the same dream about 3 times, and it really freaked me out! Darl was away this weekend in East Texas, so I called him about it. Turns out he was okay, and was on his way back to our place. Just the thought of losing him really traumatized me...you can't ever replace a brother. A brother will stand by you no matter how stupid you are, how bad you screw up, or how broke and poor you are. Brothers are for life; they share the blood that is in your veins and the history that is in your mind. We so often take these things for granted in our lives. Today when I went to Mass, I made special mention of my brother Darl, and asked that God's grace would somehow flow through my feeble body and mind to Darl and to my family. In the end, it's family that is your cushion in this world...

Psalms 107 :41

But He sets the needy securely on high away from affliction, And makes his families like a flock.